These few days memories come back . been some time . there is no way to delete . i found this interesting phrase , "The past is good place to visit to remind you not to make same mistake but definitely not good place to stay" .

I have been trying to change towards "caring others more than me" . do i have achieve that stage ?

She has been with her ex just right after we breakup . she has definitely made up her mind who is the one . she mention she will be more comfortable with him . our characterictics are quite similar . but she and her ex - opposite . maybe opposite will attract .

but the truth out of all these , is her heart not belong to mine . while friends say that time will make it lapse . i can feel the different than the first day of it . but sometimes , will wonder what she is doing . it is better not to contact her , as it makes me wander where they go , what they do . it is better not to see her , as it makes me think of the beautiful face .

maybe one day , i may speak to her as a normal friend without having past stuffs bordering me . I dont want to dwell on the past , leave in dreamland , but before i find a new partner , i have to be sure never compare with my ex , as it is unfair to her . it may takes time before i find one . in the meantime , be a full-time student - full time study :)

SicK

haiz , hate food poisoning .it makes me so weak after vomit and diarrhoe . Must not drink water , or else will vomit more water out .. after eat some traditional medicine . vomit for the worst time , and time off to bed .

energyless when wake up . cancel all appointments for the day .

while being sick , i think of her . she sicks quite often . i remember one time after my class , i cant wait to find her , check out whether she is ok , and updates her with the study .

but sometimes , one mistake can kill all the good deeds . never repeat my mistake .

Girl remember whatever minute details ..

Take A Moment

Read Dale Carneige's book recently .

get caught with this interesting word , "reflection" which i may have taken for granted . take a few moment before you sleep , reflect what you have learnt from college, what mistakes you made , what improvement that you wish to make ..

today i make another mistake . I have know something that if said will cause conflict , but i still say it . don't know what word to describe me . something that does not please me , i will just bang them sometimes . but of course in politely manner . have to know that some people may not be please with it as well .

Stress Management

One actually only requires 2 hours of deep sleep
Laughter is the best medicine
Fengshui - having a house at T junction , face a risk of car banging in
Potential to kinetic energy .
Sleep on your right , you can sleep better .

There are what said by a knowledgable , Director of a company giving a talk at a Buddhist temple this lovely night . I will regret if dont go for this talk tonight . i have learn a great deal of thing from this wise man .

The best part is "learn to let go" . understand the mechanism of how it arises , will lessen the attachment towards it , and thus less disappointment . When you fight back , the spring will pull harder ( potential energy ) which one day will hit back on you . When having able to let go unhappiness , then you will feel with happiness again .

Imagine of a river , flow down from hilltop freely . suddenly it meets a mountain . do it grumble and complain the existence of the mountain . but rather , let it be . one day , the river level rises to a level higher than the mountain, pops ! it flow over it . there forms the waterfall ~
it shows how much obstacles we will face in life . but having to learn from every challenges , we will improve.

The law of miracle . you believe after a great fall , you consult advice from the wise one . then slowly , you are able to overcome it . but actually the one consult you only able to lead you and passify your mind . what really overcome it , is your mind .

Imagine the light bulb is our body , then the electricity is our mind . we consistently use our mind to control our body ( emotion ) . we can definitely able to control it well with positive thinking . it is our choice to do so .

Patience , tolerance , understanding - is what the Buddhist always emphasize . Understand there is nothing permanent in this world . manage changes well . then it will free our mind from disappointment .

Earth , Sky ( condition ) , effort . if we are given opportunity , but we do go kick our butt and work towards it . we cant capitalise the opportunity . a good story from him , the fortuneteller tell a man that at the age of 40 , the sky will opens and gold will drop to him . All to him . then at his 40th birthday , it really does , but the gold falls in front of his house . then he thinks that the gold will come to him . but since it drops in front of his house , it belongs to the public , so everybody take it . his lack of initiative to go towards the gold , makes him lose the opportunity .

Focus on present moment , never lament over the past , or speculate the future . Present moment is where you can control , so that the future is in your hand .

when you are able to sleep well , you will able to think well and decide well . you will be prosperous . sleep on your right , facing the east . with your head at south . this is in accordance to flow of magnetic energy ( feng shui ) . if you sleep less than 8 hours , in the morning you grumble not sleep sufficiently . then whole day , you will feel lack of energy as actually , it is the mind who control our energy level .

Time

This semester passes so fast . without me realising it is April already . which is just 2 more months from final exam .

Cant afford to lose concentration while in class . Gym eats up a lot time , min 2 hours per session . So now i limit it to 3 days per week . Plan to meet some old friends but now need to postpone till June .

More effort has to be put on understanding rather than memorising . everytime go for P2 exam , it shows how much lack of understanding of mine / insufficient memorising as well .

Have been thinking too much for the past few months . Some happy moment seems like happening yesterday .but is it worth my time to think of future . i know i just cant change the fact , lying to myself will do me no good . face reality is the way out. past is history . focus on current moment . Patience is virtue , timing is crucial . i have to train my patience . Previously , have been looking at short term view , now i have to extend my view ,broader and wider towards the long term . One serious fall , makes me awake .

is it possible to embrace changes ? nothing is impossible , if commitment is put into it . like how the muscles function . no way it can change to big automatically . consistent effort put into it will bear fruit one day .