Dream

I have dream of her this morning .

But in the dream , i am no longer her boyfriend . just a friend maybe . in the university yesterday , we do chat like last time . actually the reason for her not to be so close with me after break up is not to give me false hope . I can say she is meticulous person who consider every single thing before she reacts .

This month alone , i have met 4 different cases of couple breaking up . the fastest i saw of breaking up - after 1 week of annoucement of being couple . the other couple , i listen to radio have been together for 7 years , also break up . It's all faith actually .



here is an issue , why do others can recover and find a better one , but why cant we ? nobody can help us in getting control ourself but ourself . my dad yesterday mention another important life changing quote - " if others can do so , we can do BETTER " rather than give up on yourself .

just keep youself as busy as possible . it is normal to have her flow through your mind and you may feel your lifestyle will slightly change . just embrace the change ! and slowly it is automatically adapted without you realising . since you are given golden opportunity to study overseas , don't waste parent's hard earned money . the environment is best to study . set your ultimate aim to study first.

dedicated to- wilson .

Something

It seems a hole has been puncture on my heart . there is no way that it will regenerate . it will be impossible to forget someone that you greatly in love .

but whenever memories flow , just have to keep tell myself of the reality . this time , it is not sadness like the day after i know about it . maybe i have adapt to it .

it seems i forget the way i communicate with her last time . it is no more work now . there is no way that we will able to joke like last time .

somehow , it is better not to force thing now .. but actually , nothing can be changed .

Positive Thinking

Recently i have read a great book on "The Power of Positive Thinking and The Amazing Results of Positive Thinking " . A really great book which inspires me on a lot of things .

There is two types of people . One who whines over the problems that arise , and saying negative talk . The other , is the one who accepts the problem as it is , and take it as a challenge . We have consistently incorporate positive talk to our subconscious mind to make our mind ready for the challenge .

Some of useful positive affirmation -" I can do all things through Christ which Strengthen me " .
The greatest secret for elminating the inferiority mindset ( self-doubt on capability ) is to fill your mind with overflowing with "faith" which is towards the "God". Do not built up obstacles in your imagination . Depreciate every so-called obstacles , minimize them . Doubt closes the power flow , Faith opens it .



Attitudes are more important than facts . A optimistic thought can overcome whatever difficult "fact" . There occurs time where past memories flow back to my mind sub-consciously . It is the fact that can't be avoided but to face it with positive attitude . With overflowing mind with positive affirmation , i feel myself easier to let go of the past . Life is short , i will not spend most of my time worrying of the past , but to grasp whatever opportunity in the future .

One can be happy , if they make up their minds to be . Children are more expert in happiness than adults . Today i met my neighbour's kid , around 5 years old .. so cute ! he happiness greeted me when i walked by . While i washed my shoe , he even sing song to me ! there isn't any worry like adult do . The way to happiness : keep your heart free from hate , your mind from worry .



"Live simply , expect little , give much .Forget self , think of others " may really helps in happiness . I have previously expect too much in terms of study , my capability , love and others . Do not expect too much from others , as something cant be controlled by us .

Time

It seems i have very little time for what i need to be done in a day . After the incident , i get the chance to actually call back my old friends for a chat , meet lot of new friends , and actually catch up on time lost previously .

there are a lot of things outstanding for me to follow-up. i get more chance to communicate with my best friends and get to know their life. i get the chance to sit in MPH , reading the whole book with no distraction in a single hour . I get more chance to spend time with my family and relatives .

Although the time spent may not be as happy as the time spent previously with someone you love , looking in another perspective may actually help . Having to actually let go , is the solution for it . It is "ME" who controls the happiness . it does not requires other people to make me happy .

I have gradually used to being single again . There may be instances where im being desperate to look for a partner (Rebound relationship). But , having to know the pain of the ending of relationship , ill have to be really sure before holding another people's hand , of not hurting other and ourself .

End

I know something cant be said . indirectly i know the meaning , but getting reaffirmation actually get my heart dead for second chance . "Stop doing what isn't working so you can start doing what works " . Dont wish to waste any of my time on something cant be achieved . Ie , my dad gives up something he holds on for 11 years with no regret , as he has made the most out of it .

This time , i no more feel sad or disappointed like last time i do . i have a neutral kind of mindset . Maybe i have accepted the fact towards it , or maybe i have let go and without me realising already get used to my current lifestyle .

After the first time i experience great failure in my life , i went to temple , and pray . then by coincidence , i get a book on "Four Noble Truth " - the great message - "something arises will cease" . This maybe the message the God wants to deliver the message to me . Nobody can help us in getting control over our emotion once again , but ourself .

There are other people who experience the same failure like i do , and they manage to move on with no regrets , and even may find a better life out of it . Some people , experiences even worst scenario than i do , like my friend who is just 20 years old , and have cancer . i realise life is short . Taking control of our life and maximise every minute of it with happiness and no regrets will cherish our life .

Relieve

After telling what is in my mind , i feel relieve . Hope by telling all i wanted to say before too late , then no regret in future . as i have done all I can .

Realise my concentration in class weaken recently . always fall asleep in class . if this continues , it sure impact on my final module papers . need to chase back the time i lost previously .

This will be the place where i share most of non-senstive issues . lose a great friend temporarily .. but guess cant share so much like last time with this friend .

Having simple life , gives myself a break to see things clearly .. being too aggressive and impatience towards achieving something , may be detrimental . But it will not stop me from chasing my dream and achievable aims ..

Question mark

A lot of question mark arises in my head . but somehow , something cant be control . if it belongs to you , it will come . being overly aggressive will make matter worse . if it does not belong to us , learn to let go , and pursue for something else . which may be awaiting you somewhere .

it is not good to compare with each other . but it is good benchmarking to improve ourself . some people called this as "kiasu" - never want to lose to others . if we somehow compare without feeling bad about ourself but instead improve ourself , then it is worth benchmarking . it is not good to compare other with another person . nobody like to be compared and evaluated by other people .

some people say naughty baby , will be smarter in future . since they consistently use their brain to find naughty things to do , it improves their analytical capability and intelligence . same applies to our age , only when we face problem , we will use "more" of our brain , to solve it . rather than depending on others to find solution, think for it ourself will make us feel even greater when at the end the problem is solved in our hand . then when same problem arises , it will not be an issue . it is applied in "exam" where we are being thrown with multiple problems to solve - that Practice makes perfect .

Hands Off

Getting to make wise decision when to hands on and hands off will definitely make the difference . if dealing with someone intelligent , talented , smart , experience , it is better to be hands off approach . actually nobody like to being control . we have to trust them .

same to my dad's business . he cant be hands on every single operation issues . he has to learn let go and believe the subordinate can do it .

i need to pay heavy price to learn this . initially , you may not be comfortable for it , but after think again in the other people's perceptive , it makes sense .

"Wound"

For some times , past memories keep mingling in my mind . but when i look where am I now , i just have to face the reality . looking back does not bring any good . maybe should focus on study first .

want to say it out , but it will do more harm than good . just slowly let the time dissolves it . i can say i am genuine to this , but somehow , it is not under my control .. rather than thinking when the wound will heal , just do what i can be done . thinking of something uncertain just lead us to nowhere . it is something similar to "sleep" . if you keep thinking how to sleep , you cant sleep till the next morning . but if let go , you will eventually sleep without you realising that the "wound" has healed itself .

People has to get up fast after falling down . crying due to the pain will only weaken us . we should be thankful for the chance to fall down . if we dont experience the pain , we dont learn that fast . nobody will dare to say never fall down "physically and mentally" . but what all matters is how fast we regain ourself to keep moving forward . will also thank for giving me the chance to ride the bicycle for only this short span of time .



if we are confident , there is nothing that cant be achieved . Confidence may be just the starting point , then it is all blend with other elements which result in tasteful juice .

Just realise how fast time passed . since September last year till now . between this period , lot lot of things happened . sometimes sounds so miracle to me , exciting , hopeful and to being realistic at the end . But this experience will not stop me from moving forward , but even add extra oil to speed forward .

In whatever you do , better to strategies for long term and happy conclusion . for example , in badminton , you can feel happy for leading in the game . The taken for granted attitude will result in total failure at the end of game . the seriousness and undisturbed emotion has to be maintained , but of course has to enjoy the "game" .



have a down moment for a moment , but after sharing with my best friends , and hearing from them , it gets better . It is at the end , the thinking all rests on myself . no more dependent on other people to get over a problem . LOVE MENON CLASS . besides learning p2 , we get to learn the professional attitude from her . today best quotation - be a leader , dont be follower ! really what my dad being doing . his idea all fresh from his head . do you think the idea falls from sky , he really think day and night for it ..

this show , there is NO EASY WAY OUT IN ANYTHING WE DO ... being requested to do insurance agent . true that can earn a big buck of commission and also networking . but after weighing the pros n cons , it is better to focus on my study . with looking at my current weight of syllabus , lot of efforts need to be put in ... with the drop in marks in last semester , means something need to be done before it deteriorates further .

there is one uncle , who is very knowledgable teach me something important . looking at negative comment towards us as constructive criticism . rather than being rebellious towards the criticism , maybe you can think over what improvement can be done . so that people has no more chance to criticise us , as there is NO MORE THINGS TO CRITICISE . of course , no one is perfect . we have to continuous improve ourself .

every words we said , really matter so much . before saying anything out , careful of the wording which may defame , hurt , cause conflict , and others . but some much restriction , will it makes us less prone to talking . when we get used to talking good , it will eventually be a habit . im consistently improve my communication skill to suit different people , place and time .

For so much i have said , it is all require great effort of THINKING of our own action .rather than changing others , change ourself will be easy way out . only if we have the commitment to change . it wont happen overnight , but with determination , i believe it is possible .

every experience i gain yesterday , will make me a better man in future ONLY IF i LEARN from my experience . Preventing is really better remedy than curing . but does preventing matters , if our attitude is correct .

i have really learn a lot from you . may God bless you , and be always happy .